What Makes You a Mother?
Ah, the timely question with a gabillion answers. The Parent Bloggers Network - in conjunction with Light Iris [a site for all things mommy, launching, of course, on Mother's Day] - has ptu this out there for the 'sphere to ponder today.
So, what makes a mom? Does the physical truth of carrying a pregnancy automatically denote motherhood? The labour and birth of a baby? Is it the caring for and meeting all the needs of that child? Is it only the caring for and meeting all the needs of any beloved, regardless of the number of legs they have? Does being a mother mean having another's love, need and trust that you love and will do good by them?
Or is that all too external - having all these expectations placed on you by another? I'm not buying that being a mother is something that requires an external component. It is, in truth, a state of being.
Let me know when you've stopped rolling your eyes.
Regardless of pregnancy [or none], babies [two or four legged, or even none], I'm not a mother unless I believe that I am one. That this nurturing that I do makes me a more loving person. That this well being, this welfare, that has been entrusted to me makes me a stronger person. That I have the influence to make someone else - for lack of a better word - better.
It's all semantics, I know, whether someone is there for me to care for or whether I care for someone, but I would argue that it's an important distinction. It's one that places the onus solely on me and opens up endless opportunities to be a mom. Because being a good mom is good both for the mom and the mommed.
And, at the end of the day, regardless of fuss at naptime, the mess at meal times, the trips to the doctors [or vets, for those four legged babies], I want this onus. I want to be a mom.
And that, dear 'sphere, is what makes me one.
So, what makes a mom? Does the physical truth of carrying a pregnancy automatically denote motherhood? The labour and birth of a baby? Is it the caring for and meeting all the needs of that child? Is it only the caring for and meeting all the needs of any beloved, regardless of the number of legs they have? Does being a mother mean having another's love, need and trust that you love and will do good by them?
Or is that all too external - having all these expectations placed on you by another? I'm not buying that being a mother is something that requires an external component. It is, in truth, a state of being.
Let me know when you've stopped rolling your eyes.
Regardless of pregnancy [or none], babies [two or four legged, or even none], I'm not a mother unless I believe that I am one. That this nurturing that I do makes me a more loving person. That this well being, this welfare, that has been entrusted to me makes me a stronger person. That I have the influence to make someone else - for lack of a better word - better.
It's all semantics, I know, whether someone is there for me to care for or whether I care for someone, but I would argue that it's an important distinction. It's one that places the onus solely on me and opens up endless opportunities to be a mom. Because being a good mom is good both for the mom and the mommed.
And, at the end of the day, regardless of fuss at naptime, the mess at meal times, the trips to the doctors [or vets, for those four legged babies], I want this onus. I want to be a mom.
And that, dear 'sphere, is what makes me one.
Labels: Blog Blast, Parent Bloggers Network
posted by Jenn at
6:31 a.m.
4 Comments:
"Because being a good mom is good both for the mom and the mommed." Great!
I so agree with you. And I KNOW that the carrying and giving birth doesn't not make a mom...two of my 3 children are adopted....and they are as much mine as the birth child.
And nothing is as special to me as being a mom..well? Maybe being a grandmom
That's a beautiful post. I don't know how to define it better than that, but I do know this is the BEST thing I have done ever.
Terrific post, very well said!
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