ways in which my child really is like my pets

Okay, okay, I know people cringe when parents of pets go on about how having a baby is just like having a dog or a cat. Or lizard or whatever. But, I'm sorry, in some ways it is completely and utterly true.

I have a dog, a cat and a baby who do not like having things - say, for example, medicine - being shoved in their mouths when it does not suit them.

I have a dog, a cat and a baby who have all perfected the I am hungry, feed me now soul-piercing stare, as though intense attempts at telepathy alone will fill their bellies. [oh, wait... it does].

I have a dog, a cat and a baby who all know how to play off each other and gang up on the two larger adults residing in their house. Wanna go outside? Eat the baby's toy. Wanna get fed? Meow in the baby's room right next to the baby monitor. Wanna ditch those black beans and have more room for grapes? Drop them surreptitiously off the side of the high chair into the dog's open mouth.

I have a dog, a cat and a baby who all love a good blankie.

And there is the proof that they are mine: they all get that last one from their mama.