another episode of Things I Have Learned

1. While incredibly tasty and making for an excellent supper, awesome take-out Thai food - including spicy squid and ass-kicking curry - does not necessarily make the best late supper. It does, however, make for a very strange night.

2. The Magpie has Super Snot. This is the reason for her lingering post-nasal drip-esque cough. The stuff is stuck up there and has foiled the humidifier and her own efforts to be rid of it. So, we are on to saline spray. Good times.... Fortunately, the Magpie is in love with the thought of all things med'sin.

happy Mother's Day all!

mother's day (noun):

• a day set aside, once a year, when the Significant Other takes care of the child(ren) so that the mother has time to catch up on all the laundry.
• the day to receive a previously frozen carnation from the employee at the front of the grocery store
• a guilt-free napping day for mothers - during regularly scheduled nap times only.
• a day for extra cuddles and hugs [who cares if it's really because of another cough and cold] and a few more kisses from the Bestest Toddler Ever.

now you will never be confused in the woods again

Did you know? (courtesy, we're sure, of daycare...)

• Dragons and dinosaurs sound very much a like: grrrrrrraaaaarrrrrr

• Bears, however, put a little more melody into their vocalizations: rowarowarowar

• Lions, it would appear, are the love children of dragons and bears: graworwa ...except when they occasionally sound like monkeys:weeooo e uh uh eeee
  

• And all birds sound like crows: caaw caaw cow

• But all birds are able to hear cats coming from a mile away because all cats sound like cartoon airplanes falling from the sky: nnneeeaaaarrrroooowwwww

Hope you're all having a good day, and watch out for lions masquerading as monkeys.

another episode of things I've learned, now with haiku!

nobody told us
before the Magpie was born
we'd always be sick

***

daycare brings new friends
adventures, playtime and art
viruses transfer

***

coughing is stupid
wimpy, hacking from tickles
mostly at midnight

a little weepy

And a little gunky.

We [and by we, I mean the Magpie] has an eye infection. A run of the mill icky, sticky conjunctivitis, as determined by both the doctor who happened to be in the grocery store with us while we were killing time waiting for our walk in appointment, and the doctor of the walk in appointment. It seems pink eye made an appearance at day care a few weeks ago. We're just a little slow on the uptake.

So, we have eye drops. And they are working like a hot damn but - damn! - is it not fun getting those drops into said eyes. Consider the fact that the toddler who needs these drops is battling a cold with stuffy nose and is a little prone to being tired and cranky to begin with, and our day just gets that much more interesting.

Maybe we'll get the bed to ourselves tonight...

At least the doctor gave us a week's worth of drops for a three or four day regimen: in case one of us get the highly contagious eye infection too. yaaaaay...

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pssst: the Great Breast Fest Montage has been reposted!! Go check it out and give it lots of hits and ratings!

another episode of things I've learned

Just in time for me to return to work:

• Brentwood mall goes uber family friendly and the Magpie enjoys their padded kiddie play area. We also find this in the new Mother's Room: And, there is a little play area, a microwave, an enclosed bathroom and seating! Take that, stupid people at Really Large Nearby Mall, where the "Mother's Room" is two bucket chairs in the entry of the food court bathroom. Ew. Yes, I have nursed in there amongst the lounging teenagers and little old ladies who can't make it all the way into the Everyone Else's Bathroom, but I've also nursed in the middle of the food court because of the ick factor.
• LaSenza is now selling nursing bras. Seriously. Nice ones. I noticed this when I was purchasing not-nursing bras. Damn it.

another episode of things I've learned

It was only a lunch date and, yet, I've had an epiphany.

Of sorts.

Friendships have become work.

When did this happen? Having friends wasn't a tremendous effort in high school. Or university. They were there. They were in your classes, in your dorm, your apartment building and all the nearby bars. Okay, you were kind of thrown together whether you liked it or not, but there was always someone around to click with. Living up north, just graduated, it didn't seem that difficult either - but, there, everyone was from somewhere else and, as a result, the entire community was incredibly inclusive. You had to work really hard to not go out every Friday and Saturday night.

But now? Though I'm hardly the hardcore, partying extrovert, through my job hopping days I've accumulated a small list of people that I'd like to think I'm friends with, but rarely have time to see and speak with mostly through brief, mutually apologetic emails. we really should get together. sorry, this weekend is busy - what about next month? Really, how difficult should this be?

I met a friend and former colleague for lunch today - she fit me in between meetings - despite the fact that we've been trying to figure something out for months. Her kids are sick, I'm out of town, she's implementing a new protocol at work, etc, etc. Another friend, I have to try and connect with once I get back to work: she works nearby. Two more friends from high school are each moving and it is only that looming separation that has kicked our collective asses and made us get together.

Maybe it's an extension of the big city anonymity - not chatting up people in the street, the bus, the coffee shop, extends into everyday life - or maybe we are all really that busy.

Regardless, I do know what I have to do: stop trying to arrange my dates through back and forth emails, get my butt offline and just pick up the phone. If we can't nail down a lunch hour for a face to face conversation, we can at least have a quick chat.

And that's gotta count for something in a friendship.

another episode of things I've learned

1. facebook is evil and time consuming. And addicting. Hence, the evil.
   
2. Mr.Q, upon joining facebook under duress and after only being hit from multiple directions, now has more friends than I do. And takes great glee in that. But he works with geeks. And they're all online.
   
3. So You Think You Can Dance starts tonight!!!
   

another episode of things I've learned

Pureed chicken is nasty.

The Magpie gets to try chicken this tomorrow, so yesterday I steamed it [a scary thing in and of itself, but it worked brilliantly] and then used my shiny hand blender on it.

Ew.

I really will not blame the Magpie if she soundly rejects it. It tastes like chicken ... but the texture is heinous. It's a good thing babies don't remember anything, or this would land her in therapy for sure.

3 am epiphany

Teeth.

In an of itself, teeth is a soothing word to say: a little touch of the tongue, a long, slow vowel sound ending on a soft wispy th.

Sleep.

The same number of letters as teeth and also a soothing word to say with its sibilant s start, followed by the same long, slow vowel and ending with a little pop of p.

Two words: so soothing, so similar and yet so incredibly and completely incompatible.

another episode of things I've learned

Should one think, as one were leaving the house to head to Home Depot in the wind and sleet, that perhaps it might be a good idea to measure one's toilet just in case toilet seats come in different sizes, one would be wise not to dismiss that idea.

Why the hell do toilet seats have sizes??

Round, oblong, seat depth. These weren't even the parameters I had in mind; if I had bothered to measure anything, it would have been the distance between the holes at the back of the seat.

But, I didn't.

So, instead, I make it to Home Depot, in the wind and the sleet, carry the Magpie in and through to the back of the store where the toilet seats live. Because this took place early on a Friday morning, the store was populated with me, the Magpie and a bunch of contractors. Yeah. Me, the Magpie, and people who knew what they were doing. And who probably got a good snort over a woman in soaking wet sneakers with a diaper bag over one arm and a baby in the other. staring slack-jawed at the wall - yes, an entire wall - of toilet seats.

Oh, and they also come in colours. I know better than to buy pink or green, but how the hell am I supposed to know if my toilet is off-white, sandstone or snow? What inane toilet company personnel makes these decisions?

In the end, I chose one based on price [middle of the road] and accessibility. No way was I going for one stacked on the floor or above my head.

And, thank god, it fit. Because, after that, I wasn't going to be the one to go back and exchange it. Which means that I would have had to learn to pee standing up.

another episode of things I've learned

It is better to change the baby on the floor.

For now, it seems, the Magpie is more than willing and able to forcibly launch herself out of her change pad - the curve of which only appears to accelerate speed and add height to the projection - and bounce around the floor smiling, and with no ill effect. That is until her mother expresses shock, horror and a tinge of fear, at which point the Magpie's lower lip trembles and she realises that a little cry might be in order. [her mother, by the way, was right there, having turned, perhaps, 30 degrees, without even taking a step away, in order to place the diaper into the diaper genie]

Thank god the change pad is placed on a fairly low window seat, the floor is carpeted and she didn't bump into the nearby table on the way down. She did give me a kind of what the hell? look but was quite unscathed...until I started in with the ooooh, my god let me scoop you up and give you kisses and cuddles and oh, wait, you're okay but, by that point, it was too late. After a 20 second woe-is-me cry, she was all giggles again when I set her back down to finish securing her onsie.

At which time, she tried to flip right out of the change pad again. The same change pad whose sad little belt now seems horribly inadequate to battle the forces of determination and sheer Jolly Jumper derived leg muscle.

It's time to move to the floor.

Another Episode of Things I've Learned

Ah, it's been a character building few days:

1. with the boil water advisory still on and a baby with a virus, it is now apparent that excessive, extended use of waterless hand soap destroys cuticles in a manner that should be reserved for, well, never.
2. sitting with a laptop on one's bare legs for a couple of hours is not only toasty warm, it may cause a little burn.
3. forget a baby who might sit, scoot or crawl: I actually gave birth to an inchworm.
4. viruses are transmissible. Okay, that's actually a reminder, but still. My throat is sore. Damn it.
5. there are a lot of cool blogs in NaBloPoMo - as noted by touring them via the Randomizer. Try it - but, careful, it's highly addictive...
   

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go book a manicure.

Another Episode of Things I've Learned

It's been a slow couple of weeks so I've only learned one new thing:

Apparently, watching your mother - who only gave birth to you 4 1/2 months ago, damn it - attempting to do sit-ups with muscles that may never have existed while [I might add] you are sitting on her stomach and, and such, increasing the difficulty factor by about a bazillion, is worthy of gales upon gales of riotous laughter.

Yeah. Love you too, kid.

Another Episode of Things I've Learned

A week passes by quickly and epiphanies pile up! Here they are:

1. Don't jinx things by stating them on a blog. Despite all good will [and, thank you for the good thoughts], bottle feeding has degenerated once again into fuss fests. BabyQ has summarily rejected artificial feeding methods for the time being ... we may try again after a cooling off period. Maybe.
2. It's worth repeating: don't jinx things by stating them on a blog. Like bottle feeding, sleeping through the night was just too good to be true and we are now roused about 2am for a minimum of soother replacement, if not a full diaper overhaul and feeding.
3. BodyWorlds3 - the plastination exhibit, currently at Science World - is well worth the visit, even if it is with your in-laws. It at least gets you out of the house with them and provides much conversation fodder.
4. Moo, in conjunction with flickr, is offering little mini-business/personal calling cards and they look completely adorable. I'll let you know for sure when my sample set arrives!
5. A week really does pass by quickly.

Another Episode of Things I've Learned

1. like Homer Simpson's belly, my butt, once set in motion, can now jiggle for a disturbing length of time.

2. boobs, in the hypothetical event that they were ever-so-slightly mismatched in size prior to breastfeeding, do not equilibrate upon the start of breastfeeding.

3. those little marks that I stupidly wishfully mistook for a few extra veins? Yeah...more stretchmarks.

4. a little, bouncing seat - the kick-ass-ing-est gift babyQ has received thus far.

5. babyQ, unfathomably, actually gets cuter every day.

6. thanks, S., for letting me know that babyQ has appeared on Blogging Baby photo of the day, along with Leo!

Another Episode of Things I've Learned

1. it is possible to - and this is the kicker - legitimately take the entire day to put away the clean dishes and make two phone calls.

2. the faster one walks with a stroller, the more likely one is to viciously stub one's toes on the wheels.

3. just because a stroller is bigger, doesn't mean it's more appropriate for off-roading. It only means what you already knew: it's old.

4. dogs are worrywarts.

5. The Princess from The Princess and the Pea really exists - she's two and a half weeks old, lives on the west coast of Canada, and hates napping in her playpen.

6. I can wear some of my pre-pregnancy shirts [the stretchy ones that saw me through my first few months]. Whether or not I should is a different story - and completely beside the point.

7. coffee is really, really, really good. Moreso than I ever knew before.

new episode: Thing I've Learned

Yes, it's time for a [quick] new episode of Things I've Learned:

It is possible to wear more padding than an NHL goalie and yet have none of it be for your own protection.

And, while the companies can at least make the 'feminine hygiene' pads [do not get me started on feminine hygiene slogans...] relatively thin, it appears impossible for nursing pads to be made of the same material. Though it does do wonders for one's apparent cleavage, anyone within 6 feet must wonder at the odd shaping...

**********
couple of new pics up at my flickr and a new video from Mr.Q!

dream a little dream

Apparently, odd dreams are not uncommon during the later stages of pregnancy - for those times when one actually gets to sleep around the tiny bladder, joint pain and general discomfort, that is. And, so, instead of another episode of Things I've Learned, I'd like to present:

Things I've Learned While Sleeping:

1. According to an unnamed expert in a lab coat, great white sharks are closely related to spring salmon.
2. I have been in a recording studio with kd lang, Ivan E. Coyote and another middle aged woman [I really want to say Vicki Gabereau, but I'm just not sure that's who it was...]. We recorded a set of AC/DC and Metallica covers.
3. It is still possible to get into ...um ... rather satisfying positions in dreamland that are so physically ridiculous and not sexy in the real world at 8 months pregnant. Maybe this dreaming thing is okay after all...
4. Two giant snow flakes fell during a sunny, warm day. And it made perfect, meteorological sense. At the time.
5. Hip flexor spasms are quite capable of wrenching one out of a deep sleep and thereby denying profound learning opportunities such as these.

I'm sure there are a significant number of dreams that I'm not remembering, and I know there are ones that I've just plain forgotten about - I know I knew them, but they're gone.

I'm surprised that my brain has the energy to dream. Really, I'd rather that it focused on keeping my foot out of my mouth and my words in order [things like: "but the goal got the hockey player!" and "we need paper toilet" have been uttered far too often as of late]. But, I can only hope that my brain has chosen this route for some greater purpose. At least, if I'm dreaming, I'm sleeping.

And the way the last few nights have been going, I'll take whatever sleep I can get.

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Last plug: don't forget to check out Self Proclaimed Supermom - over there in the sidebar. She's in her last day of rental and would love a few more hits!

babyQ stats

or...

Another Episode of Things I've Learned:

1. BabyQ may be a girl [per the ultrasound tech] ... or a boy [per the rather emphatic lady on the elevator at work the other day and per my mother-in-law's tarot card reader].
2. BabyQ likes popsicles. A lot. And pancakes. And any other breakfast food. Except sausages - those are gross.
3. BabyQ takes up an inordinate amount of space and, for some reason, not only in my gut, but in my ankles and neck as well.
4. Pre-babyQ, forgetting to wear my rings made for oh-so interesting and innuendo-filled lunch time outings [in my head, anyway]. Now, since it's just plain impossible to wear my rings, it's not so exciting.
5. Pants, regardless of how much elastic is in the waistband, suck.
6. Simply because of the presence of babyQ, people no longer believe me when I say I'm feeling fine. So, I'm forced to fake extra exhaustion.
7. BabyQ has been known to party for hours on end in the middle of the night ... but only when I'm already really, really tired and don't need to fake extra exhaustion.
8. Finally, and most disturbingly, babyQ is growing such that my belly button is no longer centered, but off to the right.

And, as of today, I have roughly six more weeks to learn new things before they all become redundant with the grand finale of the Impending Birth. But, then, maybe my belly button will go back where it belongs.